Peet's Pumpkin Spice Latte

I won’t bury the lede …

Holy schnikes was this a disgusting drink.

I’m surprised at how badly Peet’s f-ed this up, because I’m generally a Peet’s fan and think they get things right more often than not. Their pastries, for example, are the best of any chain coffee shop I know of. And during the summer I’ll routinely go out of my way to hit the Peet’s in Harvard for one of their summer cooler drinks.

But this pumpkin latte? Nope. Nope nope nope. Nopetty nopetty all the nopes.

It would be better if they labeled it what it really is -- a candy corn latte. From the first sip my mouth was filled with that overwhelming sugary waxy flavor, without a hint of espresso taste to balance it out. There was zero spice, zero complexity, not even much of a vanilla flavor. Just a flat fake-sugar / real-sugar mix that was utterly barftastic.

As an aside, I really hate “candy corn” as a flavor. Candy corn, the candy, is fine in the way that peeps are fine. A once-a-year nostalgia trip that’s more decoration than candy.  But why on Earth would someone want a food that isn’t candy corn to taste like candy corn? Candy corn Oreos? No. Give me regular Oreos. Candy corn M&M’s? You should be fired. There’s a reason M&Ms are one of the best selling candies in the world and a bag of candy corn comes out for one month a year and then sits in the storage closet for 11 months before anybody thinks about it again. I promise you no convenience store worker ever dug out the Halloween box in the back room in March because they were jonesing for some candy corn. Stop trying to make candy corn happen.

But in spite of my hatred for candy corn, I’m a live and let live kind of person. If you want a candy corn latte, have at it. But at least have the decency to call it what it is so the rest of us don’t accidentally spend $3.75 on one.

Location: Peet’s in the 360 Café on the Boston Common.

Cost: $3.75

Calories: afraid to ask
Room Temp Flavor: equally bogus 

Pumpkin Rating: Snaggle-tooth Jack-o-lantern Puking Pumpkin Guts